This morning I stopped by Carluccio’s to fetch a danish. I was on my way from my second laser hair removal appointment in Therapie on Molesworth St (more on which at a later date) and fancied something sweet and pastry-like, so in I went. I decided, once I got in, to get danishes for people at work; my reasons were slightly selfish in that I knew one of the regular girls was off today, and the other is coeliac, so I really only had to buy for three of us (sometimes there are almost 10 of us and you just worry about getting around to everyone!). Anyway, €1.85 each for a danish – not one for Cheap Eats, I’d wager – later and I was on my way into work. €3.25 for a large latte on the way and I was significantly out of pocket by the time I hit my desk and I have this to say: Carluccio’s danishes = all style, no substance.

I like my danishes flaky, kind of light, and with the right measure of sweetness. Miraculously, Spar on Tara St does some of the best croissants, while the Spar on D’Olier St’s are a little doughy. Hit and miss, one might say. Anyway my conclusion is: €1.85 for a danish would still be daylight robbery if the danishes were delicious. As it is, I’d like a refund.

On another note, I went into A¦Wear today to celebrate my triumphant jump (not fall) off the bandwagon of non-consumption, and they were running an offer: spend €50 and get a free bag. Hurrah, one might scream. Now, as I was spending multiples of  €50 (four, to be precise and in the name of fair journalism), I asked if I could get two bags (never mind the fact that I was, really, entitled to four).

“It’s one per customer,” said the salesgirl next to the salesgirl who was serving me – who, in a shocking display of Ireland’s terrible customer service, said not one word to me during the entire transaction, despite my best attempts to smile and cajole some conversation out of her – in a saccharine-sweet tone, but with an unmistakable underlying tone of contempt.

I smiled again. “So, if I go outside, and come back in and buy the second half of my stuff, I get another bag?”

“It’s one. Per. Customer.” Again, saccharine-sweet. I really should have left the items then and there, but I wanted them. I do, however, intend to write an e-mail tomorrow to complain about it; we’re in a recession, how many people do they get coming in to their store each day and spending €200, that they can be so rude and unhelpful to one? Incidentally, the woman next to me refused her free bag, so could they not, in the name of “the customer is always right”, have given me hers?

Because it’s the principle: the bag itself – or, the wallet, which is what I chose – is not even that amazing, and worth €10, according to the price tag. I don’t want or need another. But nowhere on that sign did it say “one. Per. Customer”. Not thrilled with the treatment, to understate the mark.